TikToker @lauramesrob, or Laura Mesrobian, is a server who has been working in NYC for a while, and she’s learned to judge people based on how they treat the servers waiting on their tables. Celebrities are held to the same standards of good (or bad) behavior as anyone else on Laura’s TikTok account, where’s she made a series rating the celebrities who would regularly come into her restaurant.
There are a few different servers and hostesses who have done similar things on TikTok, but Laura really gets into the details about why she handed her ratings out to people, which makes them much juicier.
1. Jake Gyllenhall, 7/10
“Yes, he’s f—king gorgeous. Yes, his eyes will pierce your soul. But, kind of whiny. Really likes pinot noir and french fries. Always has friends. Somehow never paid, but he was pretty fun.”
2. Greta Gerwig, 11/10
“A true queen. Dude, this girl was so fun. She had just finished her pregnancy at the time and given birth to her kid. She talked to me for like two minutes at the bar about how much her tits had changed. Totally would wanna party with her all night. Just a super good presence in the room.”
3. Noah Baumbach, 4/10
“With Miss Gerwig comes another person. Mr. Squid and the Whale. Jeff didn’t match the vibes of Miss Gerwig. Didn’t seem like he was having any fun. Kind of see how Noah Baumbach would make Marriage Story. “
4. Julianne Moore, 8/10
“Beautiful, classy, and sweet. One of the few celebrities to look you in the eye and say, ‘Thank you.’ Great skin. Really tiny. Joy overall.”
5. Glenn Close and her dog, Pip, 7/10
“Regal, composed. Some people had thought of it as cold, but I don’t think so. She’d probably dealt with a lot of people by this time, so give her a break. With Glenn Close always came [her dog], Pip. Pip had full reign to run around the restaraunt as much as he wanted. Not the most fun, but the dog was pretty funny, and it was overall okay.
6. Frances McDormand, 9/10
“All she said to me was, ‘Are you our waitress? Because we need alcohol right now.'”
7. Amanda Seyfried, 8/10
“Came in on a super busy night with her husband, but was really sweet and super understanding. Got a cheese board. Overall pretty great.”
8. Dakota Fanning, 7/10
“Seems like a really normal person. Met a girlfriend there, split a bottle of wine. Solid tipper. Can’t complain.”
9. Hillary Rodham Clinton… It’s complicated.
“It was post-election. She had been through it. I was thinking maybe she’d want red wine or something relaxing. Hillary Clinton was drinking tequila sodas. 9/10 for drink choice. 2/10 for war hawk policies.”