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The Internet Is Appalled By This “3 Pumps Daddy” Pregnancy Announcement

pregnancy announcement
Twitter/@TessaJeanMiller

Chalk it up to people being stuck inside and bored out of their minds, but pregnancy announcements have gotten completely out of control this year. First, we saw that distasteful Thanksgiving-themed “turkey and stuffing” pregnancy announcement, in which a couple wore matching T-shirts proclaiming “I made the stuffing” and “I’m so stuffed (with a little turkey)” that made everyone wonder if the straights were okay.

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The latest to go viral, however, really takes the cake—no pun intended. (Trust us when we say this is a cake you would not want to eat.)

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On December 10, author Tessa Miller tweeted the following pregnancy announcement that came in the form of an allegedly cutesy “recipe” for a baby. And yes, before you have to ask, there is semen involved. “Recipe for baby,” reads a restaurant-style sign, with the directions, “1 cup mommy, 3 pumps daddy, mix with love, bake until July.” There is also a rolling pin next to the sign, for some ungodly reason.

“Imagine using your baby announcement to tell the world your husband is bad at sex,” quipped Miller.

Thankfully for them, the unidentified couple is partially obscured, because it didn’t take long before the tweet went viral, receiving over 130,000 likes and 10,000 retweets within days. People also naturally jumped into the fray to roast the couple for their uncouth way of announcing their bundle of joy.

“I am genuinely not sure if they are advertising how quickly he ejaculated or how many squirts of semen he produced,” tweeted one user, in response. “I don’t know which I want it to be less.” “I took it that he is a three-pump chump,” added another.

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Others reacted with jokes and memes, many at the expense of straight people who feel the need to overshare the logistics of bringing a new life into the world.

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In either case, someday that poor kid is going to find out about this, so let’s hope they’ve put as much energy into his or her future therapy fund as they have with the pregnancy announcement.

Stacey

Written by Stacey

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