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The Federal Trade Commission Is Investigating McDonald’s Constantly-Broken Ice Cream Machines

mcdonalds broken ice cream
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People have been joking about how when you got to McDonald’s to order an ice cream cone, you’re really ordering disappointment. The machines are barely ever working and if they are, they’ll be broken next time. Personally, I’ve always assumed the machines are a pain to set up or clean up or something and cashiers can’t be bothered to do it. I wouldn’t if I were them.

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But no! It goes much deeper, so deep that the Federal Trade Commission is launching an official investigation into the matter.

The FTC is in charge of protecting consumers from scams and unfair business practices, according to the Wall Street Journal, and it is now trying to figure out why consumers can’t get the creamy cone they’ve been promised. They seem to have been spurred by a lawsuit launched by a company called Kytch.

Kytch alleges that the company that makes the McDonald’s ice cream machine, Taylor, has designed them to break down so they can make more money repairing them. Very sneaky.

“To maintain its lucrative repair and service market, Taylor employed a hidden ‘technician’s Menu’ to conduct even basic maintenance on the machine,” Kytch alleges. “Until Kytch entered the marketplace, only Taylor-certified technicians had the tools and know-how to navigate the machines’ volatile operations and software.”

Why does Kytch care? Because they had created a tool to fix the machines’ bugs and make them work, and Taylor is not happy about that. Kytch believes that Taylor is trying to take their solution and make it their own—either to squash it or to use it. Though, if it’s to use it, maybe the messed-up machines aren’t purposeful.

Only a government agency can save us now. Just kidding, a government agency will only make things worse, obviously. But people are still finding the idea very funny:

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And of course, they’re also thrilled. Even though the machines are always broken, we all somehow know how delicious that soft serve is.

Written by Alison Sullivan

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